My sons father and I hit a rough patch. The first thing I want to do is run, the second thing, hide. So instead of running I just hide…because I can’t face the possibility of us not working out yet again and the pain and constant reminder from friends as I publicly live out my life on my social media. My platform continues to be a place of authentically sharing parts of my life, even the muck!
Because of that, I have found lately, it is hard to blog. Not because I don’t have anything to talk about, but really I have a lot to say, too much honestly. When I have too much to say and nowhere for it to go, writing should be my outlet. That is the point of a blog, right? What about when things get messy, when you are in the thick of making some difficult decisions, when you are upset, hurt, confused or frustrated. That is not the time to blog. The best advice is not given in the heat of the moment, things need to cool down before you can decide how to make sense of it all and to uncover the lesson that then can be shared.
I have found escapism to be the way I have handled these small setbacks, on my journey. Escaping to social media that is. While I love social media and what it has to offer, in addition to YouTube and such, I gain a lot of wisdom, laughs and insight, but it takes the focus away from me assessing my own life. We have all heard how we feel like we are doing something or taking action in watching others do or take action, but we are merely living in their moment, their action. I have done and seen this countless times. So many of us don’t even realize how much we waste time and what our biggest time wasters are, nor do we get quiet enough to reduce and rid ourselves of some of the noise to make space for more peace to organize our life and get our ish in order. We are busy talking others up, “helping” others out, but when do we stop and help ourselves. What if we gave our life the same amount of attention we give others? Busy is the enemy when you need to reevaluate things that are going on in your life.
I am so unbelievably grateful for the folks that want to be apart of my journey and who encourage me along the way. They are like accountability partners! However, when you are on what feels like a path to nowhere, you need to metaphorically stop and let the sun go down and start your journey again when its light and the path ahead is clear. Motherhood takes a lot out of you. Doing it alone means even more energy is put out with very little time to recoup. So for the little time I get to myself, I have found 2 meaningful ways to connect with myself so that I can figure out which way I go next.
1. The Five Minute Journal
I found this Journal on Instagram, and when I say I am in love, I am truly a fan!
This journal requires your attention two times a day (morning and night). I believe it gets its inspiration from The Artists Way. What I love about the journal is its simple design, short prompts, inspirational quotes and occasional challenges. It is also great for helping you focus on the good in your life. Not all of us know where to start even though we seek to journal. To write is to express and create. Though this journal is filled with prompts, it still forces you to create a vision for your life, and learn to fill yourself up.
2. Listen to Inspirational Podcasts
I was fortunate enough to be a guest on The Happy Single Mom Podcast, and it was ultra healing to talk through how my mama journey started and where it is now. A lot of what I am facing is in learning how to trust myself. When you didn’t have a ton of confidence growing up, whether it was you were criticized for every little thing you did or questioned for all the choices you were making…when you become an adult, that confidence has been compromised. Recently. I found one of the most inspiring podcast episodes to jumpstart and revive in me, that confidence I know exists. I found myself ultra inspired to be courageous and trust that faith will follow me as I set out to journey down unfamiliar and scary pathways. The Unshakeable Self-Confidence podcast is a welcome resource in my arsenal. It was specifically the episode You Are The Light, that helped me be okay with the bold moves I have already started to make.
While I have always been a lover of both of the above, how I journal and the content I listen too are ever evolving. Before when I would journal, I would just get to writing with no clear place to go and no clear topic. However, The Five Minute Journal has become my saving grace. Podcasts are also not new to me, and finding good content is also hard to come by. These days, I have realized I am beginning to gravitate towards a niche of podcasts, more in the realm of mental toughness and fortitude than anything. If there is anything that will help you retreat into yourself, it is getting tough love “so to speak” from these sources that really aim to Coach you into setting actionable goals. Such as was my experience reading Atomic Habits. That book was truly life changing. Check out my post on how I am implementing its lessons into my life.
All of this to say, when you need to step back in life and change direction–its okay. Don’t let people who aren’t walking your path or on your journey steer you in one direction or another. Lets face it, their advice will be a result of their own experiences and not your circumstances. Your circumstances are unique to you. Well meaning people can only guide you to look at your own patterns. Good advice will make you stop and question yourself instead of giving you the answer or making you feel shamed for how you have tried to live your life and make the best decisions for yourself, where you are at. Log-off social media for a while, deactivate if you need to, find a coach and live your life. We have to stop living through others thinking it is doing something FOR us. Let others motivate you into action, but remember their action is not your action. You won’t lose weight watching someone workout. So lets get to work!